when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
