Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
