she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
