he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
