we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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