How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
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Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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