Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
