dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
