Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
