Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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