Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
