We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
