haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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