I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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