I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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