Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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