i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize