Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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