I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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