I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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