I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
