I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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