And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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