Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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