You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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