Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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