I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
