I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I stole a fireplace last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
