Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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