i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
