i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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