It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
