He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My vagina is officially offended.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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