we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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