I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
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I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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