Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can I color on your dick again?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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