I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
