vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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