New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
