It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
