Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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