So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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