Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
