guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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