I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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