seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
