oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
