a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize