Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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