Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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