Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
