I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
