that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
