There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
