She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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