3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
