I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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