It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
