Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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