I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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