the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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