here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize